“Last year, as a junior in high school, I was at a house party in my buddy’s attic while his parents were out of town. We were all boozing, downing whatever beer or liquor we could skim off our parents when this girl stopped the music suddenly and announced that it was time to play Seven Minutes In Heaven. Sounds lame, maybe, but there’s not much to do in the burbs. I got tossed in the closet with this average looking girl but I was okay with it since she had above average tits. When she explain...

“I was back from school for winter break when I met my mom’s new boyfriend for the first time. My parents divorced when I was five, so it wasn’t like it was traumatic or anything to meet the guy. I didn’t expect him to be so damn hot, though. He’s a personal trainer, and fit as hell—six-pack-abs-and-ripped-arms fit, like you see in advertisements for weight loss supplements and gym memberships. When he rang the doorbell one night around 6pm looking for my mom, who was out at the time, I decided ...